Unworthiness and the Wounded masculine.

How the King Power Animals, the male ancestors of my lineages and the Ancient Grandfathers of the Earth held me through a deep excavation of my unworthiness wound.

I ran the King Series for the first time last year, fall of 2025. I had run the Queen Series (tending the wounded feminine within) for 2 years prior and kept feeling the pull to explore the inner wounded masculine work. And so as I always do, I journeyed to my guides to ask if this was the medicine to come through next. The answer was a resounding YES!!! With equal parts excitement and apprehension, I began to journey to build the series.

In preparation to hold these ceremonies, I must first meet the medicine myself. To meet the wounded masculine within myself. To be shown, to learn from and move through whatever aspect or layer is ready to be witnessed at that time. This is to understand and embody the medicine, so that I may share it with others from a place of lived experience with the work. For me this is critical as it is part of the integrity of holding ceremony. If I am to be a vessel for this medicine, I must be willing to meet it within myself first, and do the work required to bring it through in a good way.I spend weeks, preparing through my own journeying and healing work with the Power Animals and Helping Spirits. And then I pay attention to how the medicine is showing up in my life.

And though I am aware of the many wounds I carry, it was in this preparation that I was shown so powerfully and felt SO viscerally the depth of my unworthiness wound and how it was impacting my life since I was young.

Unworthiness.

Icould see its threads woven through many aspects of my life since I was young; relationships, friendships, work. Especially this work. My Soul work.

Creeping in. Causing me to shrink, to silence my voice, to water down my message. To question myself, Imposter syndrom. All of it.

Unworthiness.

One of my first preparation journeys my guides took me to the lower world to meet with the Ancient Grandfathers of the Earth. They took me to a vast field. As far as I could see stood the spirits of men, young and old. The men of my lineage, reaching back further than I could see and even comprehend. I was overwhelmed by what I felt from them. Such love and deep gratitude for the work I was about to embark on.

The healing of the wounded masculine within myself, was the healing of the wounded masculine within them. For me, for them, for my boys and all our descendants. The Ancient Grandfathers, five of them, called me to stand with them, as an equal.

And in that moment, the unworthiness within me rose.

It was so deep, so palpable.

So incredibly raw.

So vulnerable

Moving from the depths of my being, from my bones.

A massive lump in my throat. It took my breath away the intensity of it.

Many many layers of unprocessed grief, shame, fear, sorrow, began moving up and out of my body, my energy field, my psyche, my lineage.

I sat with it, the drum beat steadying me. I allowed it to move through me, to open me, and to eventually soften me.

I did not shy away. I let the tears flow.... sobbing. The pain in my head was intense with the energy and the tears.

And I was completely witnessed and held by the Grandfathers, my ancestors and the King Power Animals.

Eagle, Tiger, Bear and Stag.

There is not a word in the english language that describes the depth of graditude I felt towards these beautiful beings that held me, witnessed me through this massive processing of this ancient wound. No words.

As I allowed these deep imprinted emotions to move through me I knew this was not just my wound of unworthiness.

And at the end of that 30-minute journey, I removed my tear soaked journeying eye cover, laid back in my chair infront of my altar, hands on my heart. In awe, I offered my deepest gratitude to the divine, to these guides, for the gift of this medicine.

Again, there are no words in the english language that capture what it means to have found my way back to this work in this lifetime, to be able to receive this medicine and witness the depth of healing, relcamation and liberation it has brought to myself, to my family lines and to those I serve (and all of their people).

The gratitude I feel for this path, for my teachers in the unseen realms who have been guiding and teaching me for years, and for my teachers in human form who have shared their wisdom with me along the way. For the Power Animals and Helping Spirits who walk beside me, and for the opportunity to serve as a vessel through which this medicine can be brought into the world and shared with others. This ancient medicine is not mine to claim, but to receive, to work with, and to bring through in service to others.

Thank you for witnessing me

Many blessings,

Heidi

It is worth saying that this was my experience in preparing to hold the King Series. The preparation work I undertake as a practitioner and ceremony holder can take me into deeper layers, as part of the process of preparing to hold this work for others. My training and experience have also taught me how to journey with and hold these deeper layers that can arise.

Each person's experience is their own. We are not asked to meet everything at once. In my experience, what arises is what we are ready to meet and what is needed at that particular time. Nothing more, nothing less.

The King Series - Restoring the Sacred Masculine Within ~ A Journey of Womb and Spirit

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